Never before has our culture been faced with technology at our finger tips that continually distracts us with it’s seductive sounds and stimulating visuals. I’m convinced that the sudden expansion of personal technology devices has completely outpaced our ability to manage it. It's time to unplug and reconnect.
There are daily signs and signals that families are busier than ever. Recently two retired men lamented to me that their grown children don’t attend a church. Both men shared that their kids say that they’re too busy…right now. How often do you go to bed with everything done on your to-do list?
But wait! I thought technology is meant to improve communication and make our lives easier and less stressed and less busy? How is it we don't have time for those things (or people) that are important? Something doesn’t seem to be working right.
Unfortunately, we’re not working right. It’s too easy to lose sight of what’s really important and what’s of true value. And the bells and whistles of technology have hijacked our attention and ability to focus.
Conversations around the dinner table – on the rare occasion when families eat together - can often be interrupted. Too often parents and/or children have their phone positioned next to the fork. It’s become the new table setting. Not only that, in many homes the TV is also on during the meal, which further inhibits meaningful conversation.
Technology promises to connect people like never before. But, combined with our busy lifestyle, we’ve never been more disconnected from those who mean the most to us. The dopamine response we get when the device dings or beeps or rings, causes us to divert our attention immediately, regardless of what we’re doing…even in the middle of conversations.
But, it doesn’t have to be that way. The first thing our family collectively did was identify how we were being affected. Then we discussed why it was important to make changes. The next step was to get everyone on the same page, or to at least understand the rationale. We then identified simple strategies we could implement to eliminate distractions and improve communication.
To give you some ideas, just a couple of the strategies we agreed to included: no phones at the dinner table; and no looking at your phone or any device when talking to each other. Nothing complicated but, in some cases, not easy either. As a result, communication improved, conflict reduced, and common ground was reached.
Steps You Can Take
- How have you noticed technology has interrupted your work or family life?
- What are the top three changes that your family can do to improve communication and reduce distraction?
- Have a family meeting and get everyone’s input and set a new course by setting up guidelines to help manage the technology in your home.