Are You Connecting Before Correcting?

by Miles Mettler

You'll hear it often. I’m guilty of it, sometimes. It’s a bad habit. It tears down relationships. It’s felt immediately but often unrecognized. What is it?

It happens in the home and in work settings, between loved ones and between friends, and it’s always destructive. What is it?

It’s the tendency to correct BEFORE connecting.

It happens when the kids come home from school and are told to hang up their backpacks and put their shoes where they belong BEFORE they are welcomed home and greeted with a hug.

It happens when the spouse comes home and is greeted with a to-do list BEFORE a kiss.

It happens when pointing out the messy kitchen that needs to be cleaned up BEFORE expressing appreciation for the food that was prepared.

It happens when the boss jumps on the worker for being late BEFORE inquiring if everything is all right.

Anytime you put results BEFORE relationships, you’ve demonstrated your inability to lead and influence effectively.

Relationships matter. If you want to grow your relationships at home and at work, become aware and make this one simple, but profound, shift...


And, here's the unexpected benefit. You'll find that the result you were looking for will come about with much less conflict and resistance and more cooperation.

You’ll grow your relationships AND get the desired result!